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Research suggests that managers spend up to a third of their time having difficult conversations with employees – but they’re regularly cited as one of the things they dislike the most about their job.

We’ve picked out five of the most common mistakes that we make when having a difficult conversation – and handy some tips on how to avoid them.

1. Mistake #1: We fall into a combat mentality
When difficult conversations go wrong, it’s often because we’ve gone into combat mode and see the conversation as a battle that we’ve got to win. So set aside the battle fatigues and start looking for solutions.

2. Mistake #2: We oversimplify the problem
If the problem you’re facing were straightforward, then chances are you wouldn’t be where you are now. Take the time to dig a little deeper and get to grips with the real issues.

3. Mistake #3: We don’t have enough respect
Don’t be tempted to trivialize matters or dismiss the person’s feelings just because you wouldn’t react in the same way. Always to try to respect the person and the problem.

4. Mistake #4: We let our emotions get the better of us
Emotions like fear, anger or embarrassment can easily derail a conversation. So always keep your cool, state what you really want and focus on the outcome you want to achieve.

5. Mistake #5: We over-rehearse
If we think a conversation is going to be difficult, we tend to start rehearsing what we’re going to say. So while some preparation is a good thing, try to resist the temptation to plan too much – the conversation may well take you by surprise.

Learn how to turn that tough talk into a constructive dialogue with Dealing with difficult conversations from Skill Boosters.

Every workplace has its share of difficult people.

It might be the boss who loses their temper at the drop of a hat, or the person who spreads rumours and gossip – or who’s always got an excuse for not doing something. We’ve listed 5 of our most difficult people in the workplace – and some tips on how to handle them.

1. The Steamroller
Steamrollers like to shout and bully to get what they want – and won’t let anyone get in their way. So stand your ground, breathe deeply and make it clear that you’ll have the conversation when they calm down and behave reasonably.

2. The Shirker
Got someone on your team who’s always got an excuse for not doing something? Chances are they’re bored or they just lack the confidence to tackle new challenges – so give them support and a chance to shine and you might be surprised.

3. The Sniper
Snipers like to secretly undermine their colleagues with covert criticism, gossip and rumours. Calling them on their behaviour and bringing them out into the open makes it harder for them to operate – so don’t give them a place to hide.

4. The Pleaser
Pleasers might not seem like a problem – they’re the people who are always willing to jump in and help out. But they often tend to over-commit themselves and end up letting others down, so always check that you’ve really got their buy-in first – and tell them it’s fine to say ‘no’.

5. The Downer
Downers haven’t got anything good to say about anyone or anything – they’re on a downward cycle of despair even when everything’s going great. But a lot of their behaviour is just about getting attention – so make use their critical faculties, but without encouraging their negativity.

Difficult people can cause huge damage to working relationships and cost your organisation time and money. Find out how to manage difficult people with ‘Understanding problem behaviour’ from Skill Boosters.