Philadelphia Best

He described it as being as if Steve Beshear, the former governor of Kentucky, were speaking “from your
normal, relatable, everyday diner where everyone faces the same direction in terrified silence.”
COLBERT: “People who believe that Donald Trump is an existential threat to this nation, to the experiment of democracy, to Western civilization itself, take heart,
because for their powerful rebuttal, the Democrats showed a rerun of ‘The Andy Griffith Show.’”
None of the other late shows taped after the speech,
and Jimmy Kimmel — whose show is also recorded, despite its title — had the most creative way of handling the inconvenience: He declared it a “Trump-Free Tuesday.”
Instead, he revisited the Oscars fiasco he had experienced firsthand as the show’s host on Sunday.
TRUMP: “We have placed a hiring freeze on nonmilitary and nonessential federal workers.”
COLBERT: “Nonessential federal workers — so Kellyanne Conway is out?”
TRUMP: “Tonight, as I outline the next steps we must take as a country, we must honestly acknowledge the circumstances we inherited.”
COLBERT: “Honestly, I don’t know what we inherited.
TRUMP: “With the $6 trillion, we could have rebuilt our country twice, and maybe even three times if we had people who had the ability to negotiate.”
COLBERT: “Maybe even rebuild it 10 times, if we had people who refused to pay their contractors.”
Mr. Colbert didn’t spare the Democrats’ rebuttal, either.

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