7 STRANGEST Historical Relics\r
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Are you sick of visiting dusty old museums full of ancient stone whatsits and paintings of dead jerks?\r
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Narration provided by JaM Advertising New Mexico \r
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Me too, so perhaps youll find some of the weird relics weve come across a little more interesting. Weve got dirty things, disgusting things, and an elusive part of Jesus which is so popular its even spawned a few fakes. This is our list of the Seven Strangest Historical Relics.\r
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In 1972 the British Banking firm Lloyds wanted to build a new bank on a site in York, but during excavations the workers discovered something long, brown, and hard. What could it possibly be? Ancient pottery? A medieval weapon? Guess again – because when archaeologists turned up to investigate they identified this mysterious object as the largest example of fossilised human feces ever found on earth. Wow, thats some historical shit right there.\r
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The title pretty much says it all. Located at the Smithsonian this mechanical monk was built sometime around 1560, possibly by Spanish clockmaker Juanelo Turriano as a gift for King Philip the second, the son of Holy Roman Emperor Charles the fifth.\r
This mecha-monk was x-rayed by W. David Todd of the National Museum of History and Technology, and it was discovered that the 15 inch tall automaton contains an astonishingly complex set of gears and components. \r
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There are many relics supposedly associated with Jesus which are thought to imbibe their owners with magical powers, including bits of wood from his crucifix, a towel he dried his face on, and the Holy Chalice used during the Last Supper. But by far the weirdest is Jesus Christs holy foreskin, and arguments over this slice of spiritual schlong have been raging for centuries.\r
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The Venus of Hohle Fels is the oldest three dimensional depiction of a human being in existence, and this 40,000 year old 6 centimetre statuette also tells us a little something about human inclinations.\r
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Okay thats not its official title but it definitely should be. In our recent video on strange things people used to believe, we covered the price of smoke blowing, where Victorian doctors would use a bellows to pump hot tobacco smoke into the anus of drowning victims. It was believed this would resuscitate the dead thanks to the warmth and stimulation, and items like this were hung along the side of Londons River Thames in much the same way we hang lifebuoys today.\r
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Philadelphia – home of the Fresh Prince, cheese steaks, the Liberty Bell, and an eight foot long section of a human turd-chamber known as the Mega Colon. Youll find this exhibit at the Mutter Museum after it was removed from a 29 year old man suffering from Hirschprungs disease, which causes you to be born with undeveloped nerve endings in the colon.\r
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As we come to the end of this list it occurs to me that every single item weve covered so far has a connection to either religion or butts, so for the final entry we could either go in a different direction or combine the two. Yeah lets do the second one, and take a long and uncomfortable look at the Popes Holy Crapper.